Mastering chopsticks

I think just about everyone has had some uncomfortable encounter with chopsticks. For me it was always trying to find that delicate balance while maneuvering a perfect piece of sweet and sour chicken into my mouth without losing it to my white shirt. Well, my last day in Beijing brought on a new experience.
I was just beginning to feel confident with the squatting toilet routine and felt that I could take on the world, or at least the bathrooms of the Eastern world. But that’s when I had a setback. My hotel key fell out of my secure pant pocket and into the porcelain abyss of Never Never Land.
I stood for a moment brainstorming what to do. Should I cross my fingers, close my eyes, count to the lucky number eight and hope that I could somehow force the key down the pipes with a solid flush? Or do I dare figure out a way to draw it out? I mean, really, how necessary was this key?
Luckily, a kind bathroom attendant came to my rescue. Using her super-sized chopsticks, she deftly clasped the key between the wooden sticks and immediately flung it across the room and began rinsing it in the sink. Water spraying, soap bubbling, dryer blasting. The whole process was done with her chopsticks. I was overwhelmed with not only her thoroughness in cleaning a disposable hotel room key but her willingness to help this fumbling American. I expressed my gratitude with a ‘shi shi’ and couldn’t help but wonder if she had been in this predicament before. It all seemed too easy for her. I tried to learn from her and file away the lesson that a smile and kind actions go a long way, and that mastering chopsticks can get you somewhere as well.

--- Ali Semon